The Final Job
by Limpet
Summary: The 5 GW boys try a Job at Burger King


  
Entrance: The 5 pilots, slowly march into burger king, the last place, they could possible  
work, because every other job, has resulted in disaster.  
  
Manager: You 5 boys seem pretty honest and hardworking your all hired, OH and gay  
pride boy, we dont wear purple here.  
  
Quatre: just bursts out crying  
  
Wufei: (leaps out of his seat) YOU ARE WEAK!  
  
Heero: (starts laughing maniacly)  
  
Manager: Riiiiiiight... just get to work  
  
Heero: * is the person that calls the numbers and hands the food trays out*  
  
Trowa: *runs the cash register*  
  
Duo: *Kills the cows for the beef supply*  
  
Quatre: *the helpful cheery guy that wants to help people*  
  
Wufei: *is the cook*  
  
Relena: *walks in*... oh, i think I want a whopper. HEY TROWA!  
  
Trowa: *mumbles* go away, why are you happy, I must fulfill my life, all must be  
destoryed.  
  
Relena: What Trowa?  
  
Trowa: um... nothing... may I help you  
  
Relena: OH I want my whopper, plain, so as not to take the side of mustard or ketchup,  
because that might not be good, wars are bad.  
  
Trowa: OK, that will be... $2.34  
  
Relena: *hands him money* That is more than regular money, thats neutral pacifism  
money to make you guyz not get in a fight!   
  
Trowa: my tears?, why?...I see...she is so stupid...I..understand now  
  
Wufei: A PLAIN BURGER! SHE IS WEAK! I can fix that, with hell fire sauce... and  
death plague peppers, and some nataku surprise *makes the burger*   
  
Heero: *notices and smiles evily* *hands relena the food mumbling* I dont need to kill  
you the food will  
  
Relena: heero! what?  
  
Heero: I like mill weeds on the side of hills....  
  
Relena: Weeds, oh no! they arent neutral, they like to hurt the grass.  
  
Heero: just... go eat your food  
  
*in the meantime, duo is out standing in a field of cows with a laser sword*  
  
Duo: OH YOU SAW ME! NOW YOU DIE *lops a cow in half*  
  
Cow: *looks at him* mooo!  
  
Duo: DID YOU LOOK AT THE GOD OF DEATH!?? NOW YOU PAY! *kills that  
cow*   
  
(fades back to the restaurant)  
  
Quatre: OH MISS RELENA! I LOVED THE PACIFISM MONEY! it was so beauitiful,  
just like my new gundam, the gayonating rainbowizer  
  
Relena: OH how nice QUATRE!!!! *takes a bite of her burger, eyes widen and she  
screams*  
  
Quatre: OH NO ITS MY FAULT! WHAT DID I DO?! I DONT DESERVE TO LIVE  
*runs out*  
  
Wufei: *jumps over the counter, pointing to relena,* oh look at miss, weakling, YOU  
WOMAN! HOW WEAK YOU ARE! YOU ARE PATHETIC! YOU WILL PAY FOR  
ALL OF YOUR STUPIDITY!  
  
Heero: *falls over laughing, like a maniac when he blows stuff up on the early episodes*  
  
Trowa: *now serving, lady une* May I help you  
  
Lady Une: * split personalities kick in* *rips off her glasses* I want a salad.. please  
*slams the glasses back on* NO I WANT A DEAD HUNK OF COW!!!! * she grabs her  
head and falls on the ground fighting with herself*  
  
Trowa: *looks down, blinks* *looks up* next please.  
  
Entering next is: Lt. Noin....  
  
Trowa: Hello Miss Noin.  
  
Noin: Hi trowa *looks down to see Une, thinking, and just starts kicking her* THIS IS  
MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare you keep me away from ZECHS!!! *continues to  
kick her*  
  
Trowa: Miss Noin... stop... this battle not need be fought...  
  
Noin: *stops and blinks* Ok then, I would like a double cheeseburger, and make it with  
lots and lots of ketchup and lettuce.  
  
Relena: Looks up at her, crying from the pepper, and for noins actions* N-Noin, you ...  
took the side... of those... how could you... I... need a glass of ...coke...  
  
Noin: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME! ALL YOU WANT IS COKE! IS THAT  
NEUTRAL!?? NO! WATER IS THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE BEVERAGE!!   
  
Relena: falls back over, slowly her body is bursting into flames, first her hair.  
  
Wufei: AT LEAST SHE PUTS SOMETHING ON IT!!!! but she is still WEAK! *laughs  
evily... he makes the burger shaped in the formation of zech's head*  
*the tray sits there b/c heero is still laughing at relena*  
  
Trowa: *blinks, and walks over nonchalantly nudging the tray over towards noin*  
*impersonates heero* I will kill you... so... eat your food.  
  
Noin: *takes the tray and walks to her booth, stepping over relena's body*  
  
*going back to the field,   
  
Duo:*now In the deathscythe hell custom stands amongst the cows* YOU DID LOOK  
AT ME! *steps on a cow* YOU ARE AN OZ COW *slices down with the beamscythe,  
realizing the blade is larger than the cow insinerating it and the ground underneath*  
DAIRY COWS! MY SWORN ENEMIES!!!!! *opens fire with the head mounted vulcans  
waisting all of the cows splattering them across the country side*  
  
*fades back to the restaurant*  
  
Noin: *looks down at her burger* I told you I would never leave your side, *presses the  
burger to her cheek*  
  
Relena: *most of her torso is aflame*  
  
Trowa: I feel nothing, not even the warmth generated off her body, I need to go save  
Quatre now, I feel so used, all I do is rescue the damn homo... and then people think I am  
gay. *walks back into the kitchen*  
  
Quatre: *acting insane and like a puss* I like grease, *almost shoves his head in the grease  
vat but stops b/c he is scared* I am too gay for this, I bet there is a nice man out there for  
me, oh where is my Trowa. He must hate me too *jabs himself with a dull dull burger  
flipper doing nothing*  
  
Trowa:*overheard him* Quatre, shut the hell up, I am not gay *grabs him and throws him  
into a wall* That violen incident was a grave mistake on my part, you'll recover... and  
Quatre you're a queer but don't kill yourself, I am sure you have a good future on the  
newly founded Tinky Winky Colony  
  
Quatre: *falls unconcious, only to remember "Don't kill yourself I am sure you will have a  
good future...subconsciously smiles for "his" Trowa*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heero: *finally being carried away by an ambulance crew due to lack of oxygen, still  
chuckling*  
  
Relena: *body swept into an urn*  
  
Noin: *happily holds the burger at her side walking off*  
  
Une:*being taken away for internal bleeding*  
  
Duo: *clip scene of him taking Heavy-Arms custom and just waisting hundreds of miles  
with the fire power*  
  
Trowa: *standing at the register blinking*   
  
Quatre: *unconscious crumpled on the floor coverd in kid's meal toys*  
  
Wufei: *drinking a bottle of hotsauce* YOU ARE ALL WEAK! I AM STRONG  
NATAKU AND I WILL RULE THE FAST FOOD WORLD!!!!!! *pulls out and extra  
large spatula and begins doing burgers again*  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
`Deep voice over`  
  
Heero was released from the hospital to a direct care ward for the mentally insane,  
where he attempted suicide 23.4 times a day for the remainder of his abnormally long 134  
year life.  
  
Lady Une and Lt. Noin now have successful careers as preventers in the unknown  
uninhabited sections of space where they patrol looking for a potential threat.  
  
Quatre became the leading talk show host for the Tinky Winky colony and soon  
after had direct control over the colony for the remainder of his years, which were 3 in  
number, his head ended up and the wrong end of a gun barrel.  
  
Trowa soon after became head of the largest anti-gay movement in the history of  
the colonies. With the power of Heavy-Arms custom, the colony Tinky Winky was  
destroyed. He is now being tried for only the murder of a gay rights leader. *hint hint*  
  
Duo destroyed the entire North American beef supply in one single day. He has  
been hired by companies to go and eraticate largest pest populations in extremely rural  
areas of Africa.  
  
Whereas Wufei has come out on top of the system. Now the head CEO for the  
combined fast food restaurants of the world, he is the richest man alive. The monopoly  
that he obviously has was allowed by the goverments of the world after a demonstration  
technique of his infiltration and Gundam skills upon the fine country of Cuba. He now  
rests peacefully in a house on the shore of Japan where he has direct link to everyone on  
the face of the planet. 


End file.
